Thursday, February 26, 2004: Big C Big C

Last night I met up Sandy and her Sister Julian at the (formerly called) World Trade Center (It’s now Central World but nobody calls it that) for food. There is an outstanding little restaurant on the 6th floor that we like. I had duck and squid. Not on the same plate. Squid to start, duck as my main dish.

Julian has a Sony Ericsson phone and she some how switched the ring tone to silent and couldn’t switch it back on. Since my new phone is also a Sony Ericsson they gave me hers to fix. The problem was our phones are about a year apart and the menus are different, so I spent most of them meal searching fruitlessly for the “turn off silent” command. Eventually I found it in an unlikely place completely separate from the main menu system. The mystery menu also contained the keylock function. I switched the menu language from English to Thai (other choices – Vietnamese, Tagalog, Malay, Indonesian and Chinese) and gave it back.

Afterwards we went to Big C to buy stuff. I don’t mind going there with Sandy alone but the two of them together was whole new experience. They walked at a snail’s pace and had to examine each girlie item and discuss it in Thai. They came across some “cell phone socks” and pulled me over to choose one. These are little socks that fit around your mobile to prevent it from getting all scratched up by coins or keys in your pocket. I already have one Sandy gave me that has Mr. Happy on it. Apparently Mr. Happy needs to be washed so I got one that says “Dinosaur” and has an image of a really dopey looking dragon thing on it.

When they started rummaging through a big bin of on sale nail polish I had to flee up to the electronics section. I wandered around looking at home entertainment, then drifted around furniture and eventually came back down to seek them out. They were busy discussing which type of cotton balls to buy. Should it be the ones in the blue package or the ones in the pink package? I suggested the ones in the giant bag because they were only 7 Baht more and it would mean we wouldn’t have to come back in a week to buy a new bag.

Next it was on to the laundry soaps…

By the time we were in the food section I was walking like a zombie beside Sandy who was pushing the cart chanting “Imhotep… Imhotep…”

Wednesday, February 25, 2004: Ball Room Blitz

For some unexplained reason one of Sandy’s university courses is (believe it or not) ball room dancing. Now I haven’t been completely able to figure out if this is an offshoot of some other course or if at some point the King decided everyone in Thailand should know how to do this. Because of certain language barriers that lay between us I have never managed to get a full explanation of why she’s learning this very European thing. I have to watch a demonstration or two of her routine and shocked Sandy by admitting to her that despite my case of terminal farangness I wasn’t taught ball room as a child. Her ball room dance class is having some big performance this week so this has meant several after hours rehearsals and my providing foot massages when she limps in at 9:30 pm.

Last night was a rehearsal night (thankfully this is all over as of tomorrow) so I got to watch Star Wars in Thai with her Sister who’s been staying with us while she also finishes out her University course. She was watching “Attack of the Clones” in when I came in so I watched it with her. It didn’t seem so odd. I’ve watched the original Star Wars movie in French countless times so maybe there is a tradition there. In some ways it was more watchable because the guy who plays I Was a Teenage Darth Vader doesn’t have that annoying Scarborough Ontario accent.

“Mah’ Lady… I keeeeelled them the women … and the cheeeeeldren”.

Jar Jar Binks of course spoke Thai in a funny voice but his “Messa minstrel paint” accent was gone rendering him far less irritating. C3P0 still sounded like some of the more poncy Brits I’ve had to deal with over here, tittering about, waving his arms around and panicking over nothing. Truth is though that with Star Wars you don’t have to know what they are saying. It’s all about those light sabers.

Last night I had a dream I was at the GFM. Craig the Aussie from WC days was there. He was asking me questions about get older.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004: Chrissy Hynde is an Idiot

The Pretenders played Bangkok last night. I have never had any real emotions towards them one way or another. They wrote that “Don’t Get Me Wrong” tune which is nice sacarine paff for wedding receptions and road trips to the cottage in the summer. Pretty light fare and some what harmless. What has managed to get my blood up though is seeing Her Holiness Queen Skag Hag turned Vegan on the front page of the Bangkok Post prancing about in front of a KFC outlet protesting meat and suggesting that Avian Flu can be prevented if Thai’s become vegans.

First of all where does she get off protesting for animal rights in a country where human rights are often overlooked? The government’s questionable “Anti-drug” rampage killed 2500 people. Even the King wants an explanation about that. And Chrissy is worried about some chickens? Ahoy there!

And how dare she make light of the Avian Flu problem too. Oh of course she doesn’t have to worry since it’s not her chickens that are sick and have to be culled. It’s not her 8 year old kid in the hospital. It’s not her livelihood at risk. She’s a big Farang Star so she gets some lifestyle choices that the locals here can’t even imagine. One of those privileges is flying around the world spouting self-righteous non-sense that doesn’t apply outside the Disneyland playground of the first World.

Self-righteous first world Farangs. I am being to completely understand that Thai dislike for them.

If you think I’m being rather hard on Chrissy, let me add this. In my quick research before I wrote this entry I stumbled across the following quote from the Queen of Save the Chickens.

"Have we gone to war yet? We (expletive) deserve to get bombed. Bring it on. Let’s get rid of all the economic (expletive) this country represents! Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win "

Think for ONE SECOND about what she s saying. This is what would actually happen in “The Muslems” won.

First of all Chrissy, that would probably mean the deaths of untold MILLIONS around the world. Anyone who’s Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, not Moslem enough, or what ever would be killed. Probably not humanely. So apparently she doesn’t approve of the Americans killing anyone but she does approve of the Islamaholics doing it. (As long as they aren’t chickens?)

Secondly Chrissy and the Pretenders would be out of a job. Because as you might be aware secular music would be banned.

Thirdly I assume Chrissy would be willing to trade in her tight trousers and revealing get ups (this is if she survived the culling of infidels) to dress in full-on Islamic code garb. She will also have to give up all her rights as a woman because if the Moslems won she wouldn’t have any rights. Nor would her precious animals.

But Chrissy doesn't have to worry about that. She's rich and famous and safe so she can spout what ever non-sense her tiny brain can conjure up.

I don't really care if a person is a vegan or a muslim or a chicken lover or if they eat at KFC 3 times a day. It's non of my business. What I don't like is people telling me what to do. Or what not to do. I had a belly full of that growing up and thank you very much I'd had my fill. I will worship what ever God I chose in what ever way I see fit, and I will eat what ever the hell I want when ever I want while doing what ever I want. The only person who gets to put restrictions on me is me.

So there you go. Time to call the KFC and order some chicken. It's finger-licking good. And it's a welcome change from rice and noodles.

Monday, February 23, 2004: Bones and Bears

The absolute high-light of weekend was seeing the Chriopractor. There has been one spot in my neck that has felt "off" since this whole right shoulder injury business started. It annoyed me all last week. On Saturday I paid a visit to my Chiro and he did one simple little adjustment and PRESTO... what was wrong was right.

I had really awful nightmare on the weekend. It might sound amusing to all the Brits and Yanks but because of where I grew up as a boy and because of several members of my family having had such encounters the dream scared me so much I woke up shouting.

In the dream I was with both of my Brothers in some rural place that might have been Alberta. At one point in the dream this big black bear came charging down on us from the woods letting out that frightening bear sound. I was too far from my rifle, which I had just put down, and my Brothers were between me and the bear so I couldn't get a clear shot. And it was dark.

I woke up shouting the warning much to Sandy's shock and surprise. My heart pounded for ages afterwards.

Thursday, February 19, 2004: Running Again

Since I hadn't run for a whole week I was afraid that going back to it would be as awful as it had been when I first started. When I first began running I was nearly impossible to walk the following day. Going up and down stairs? Ouch.

But yesterday I ran and it was as if I hadn't stopped. I did a lighter than normal workout just to make sure I didn't put myself back were I was last week, and followed it with the usual bike boredom. Today I feel fine. With that I will continue and hopefully next week be back to normal.

I am still a bit stiff in my neck but that seems to be slowly fading.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004: Almost Normal

I feel almost normal. In fact the only thing abnormal about the discomfort and pain I still feel is that it is located in my right shoulder not my left. If it were in my left I'd probably not even notice it.

I didn't sleep very well though. I had this dream where I felt like I was having 1000 volts run through me or something. I woke up at around 4:00 am feeling sort of freaked out.

Last night Sandy, her Sister and I watched "Reservoir Dogs". I have only seen it once before and was never as big a fan of it as everyone else seemed to be. Overall... I don't know. I am even more baffled now as to why all these smarty-pants college boys who hung around The Victory Cafe and such places back in 199blank thought it was so cool. Sure, it has some good bits, but hardly something to base ones speaking patterns on for 3 years... and oh, how they tried to talk like they were one of the Misters....

If anything that was one obvious cliche...

What was an obvious cliche?

The way they talk

The way they talk is an obvious cliche?

Yes... the way they talk is an obvious cliche!

So let me get this straight... what you're saying is... That anyone can try and be a tough guy and sound like they are in some bad-ass gang of armed robbers if they talk like this and make lots of pop culture references...

Yes... but only if you swear a lot.

Anyways...

Sandy and her Sister watched the last shoot em up bit several times trying to figure out who shot who. For my money I'll take Todd Phillips as a director over Quentin Tarantino any day. That's just me. Or at least the me I am now. I would much rather watch Will Ferrell fall into a swimming pool after shooting himself in the neck with a tranquilizer dart than listen to Tarantino shoot his mouth off. In fact I'd rather be shot in the neck with a tranquilizer dart and thrown into a swimming pool than have to listen to him talk at all.

Yes, the more I think about it... Reservoir Dogs was highly overrated. I realize that I've committed some kind of pop culture blasphemy by saying that. So ban me from eating Doritos. And while you're at it PLEASE tell Tarantino he can't act.

Monday, February 16, 2004: Ouchies Still

I haven’t really had any proper sleep in over a week. Once the pills wear off I wake up, usually at around 3:30 am. Today the pain is less than it’s been, and I am running un-medicated but I feel exhausted and weary.

The pills and the bad sleep have made me REALLY CRANKY.

No gym, no running until Wednesday I think.

Friday, February 13, 2004: Ouchies

I managed to injure my right shoulder last Friday. This resulted in my week being completely medicated and some what fuzzy. If you asked me to do something chances are I forgot what it was two minutes after you asked me. My little note book contains some notes that I don’t understand as well as some I can't recall writing. My journal contains passages that are completely illegible, even to me.

I tried to call my Chiropractor early in the week but he was apparently out of town. Thursday after noon I did manage to see him, although there was little he could do other than some mild stretching and ultra-sound treatments. I have always been somewhat skeptical of ultra-sound. It always seemed to me that smearing Vaseline on the ear piece of a Fisher Price Telephone and rubbing it on said painful area would be just as effective. But what do I know of science and it's mysterious ways?

Anyways I go back this weekend for more. The pain is less but it is still enough that I know when it’s time to take another pill. Hopefully next week I can get back to my usual routine. I will take it easy until I am certain everything is all healed up.

Saturday, February 7, 2004: Monthly Poipet Trip

I had to make the monthly trip to Poipet this week. This was once daunting, and then an inconvenience now it’s just routine. The worst part of it is the expense.

Somehow the night before I managed to get to sleep by 10:00 pm. I woke up and thought it must be about 2:00 am but it turned out to be 5:00 am. I got up and waited for Kaboom to pick me up. I was surprised in the difference leaving 30 minutes later than usual could make as far as traffic was concerned. We got stuck several times in traffic jams before we managed to get out of the city.

The drive down what I think of as “Dead Dog Highway” was uneventful. We weren’t stopped by the police this time at all. There was the usual army road block as we approached the boarder area, which we had to stop at. There was a difference in the type of soldiers there this time. The fellow who seemed to be in charge had a totally different uniform than I’ve ever seen before and they didn’t carry the usual hand-me-down M-16s. I had been told that the military won’t use M-16s up near the boarder with Burma or anywhere they meant business. These fellows didn’t have them either. They had HK rifles which I believe were G3s or G36s. The officer had either an M-4 or a C-8. The strangest thing about the rifles was that the butts of the HKs had Buddhist symbols draw on them in white paint. There is a tradition of such symbols that you will usually see in taxis, or above doorways. Some Thai boxers or bad-asses will tattoo themselves all over with such markings to make themselves invincible. For what ever reason these fellows felt the need to decorate their guns with them. In any event they were friendly enough to us. They took down Kaboom’s details and the Zero’s engine block number, and looked at my passport then sent us along.

The boarder routine was rather… routine. I was stamped out, and then my “guide” took me across to the Khmer side of the bridge. I filled out the forms and this time had to go on a motorcycle ride to the stamp office and back. I’m not sure exactly why sometimes I have to do this and other times I don’t. It is possible that I’m missing a bribe to avoid it but if that is the case it has never been clearly presented to me.

The Thai side was easy enough. I dread the day when the Taskin government decides to make it impossible to make the Poipet run. I fear that is inevitable though due their relentless campaign to try and make Thailand as anal as Singapore has ruined much of the easy going mood of this country. There were a lot of Farang at the boarder this time. They were mostly jabbering euro back packers who looked like they’d fallen off the back of the bus from “Jesus Christ Superstar”. They would yack endlessly and nervously at the Thai officials which is the worst possible thing you can do.

We got out of Poipet just in time to miss the rain which had been threatening since the early morning. It rained off and on all the way back to Bangkok, at times quite heavily. We took a slightly different route to avoid the possible stop checks we’d encountered last trip. I slept off and on and was happy to wake up at On Nut. There was no rain in Bangkok but the traffic was diabolical anyways. I got back to the Redoubt at around 4:30 pm.