Sunday, July 24, 2005: Back to Bangkok

The Madonna movie "Truth or Dare" was on TV last night. I watched some of it before I fell asleep. I'm surprised it didn't give me nightmares. I remember very clearly where I was when this came out. I remember wanting all that 80's Pop stuff to STOP as well, as it was moving into the 90's. Watching it now only confirmed my thoughts at the time about Madonna being little more than a lip-syncing vagina attached to a massive marketing machine. Truth or Dare viewed a decade or so later shows her to be a posturing stuck up numbskull. The ghastly post-80's fashions providing immense comic relief.

There she is confronting the Toronto Police who don't want her to do certain acts on stage and you can see how much she loves the whole opportunity to be all indignant and self-righteous about her "freedom of speech" as if she's the Nelson Mandela of masturbation. What a dolt. It's no wonder that she's jumped on this silly Kabalism cult that resells bottle Ontario drinking water to New Agers in London at 15 British Pounds a liter. I also found her use of a fake "black" ghetto accent during Truth or Dare interesting, as now she's switched to this weird false British one. I cut her a lot of slack with the Ray of Light CD, but the truth is (dare I say) the ONLY reason that CD was any good was of William Orbit's production and quite frankly ANYONE could have done the vocals and it would have been as good.

Anyways... I watched as much as I could stomach and then crashed.

Today I was up and over to the FCC as early as possible. I had a nice breakfast and watched the rain roll in. It was cool and I was really reminded of Vancouver when it began to rain. It took me a minute to realize why though. The rain was small drops! It seemed like a mist in comparison to the big huge drops of water I've become used to in Bangkok.

During the rain I watched these two Khmer boys across the street by the river. They ran across the road when the rain began and began doing push ups, then they ran a few laps around the flagstone pathway, and then they began fighting Thai kickboxing style. They were only about 6 or 7 or so but they just beat each other up mercilessly. Then they'd stop and run around for a bit, do more push ups, then start kicking and punching again. It was hilarious to watch. When the rain began to back off, they stopped, no hard feeling visible and ran back to their Dad who had a motor-buggy parked across the street.

I had the same motorcycle taxi guy today as I did during the day yesterday. He waited patiently for me and was there when I came back down at noon. I had him stop by the Royal Palace on the way to the Hotel so I could take a few pictures, then it was back and time to pack.

I took a taxi to the Airport at 1:30 pm. He drove of course at the standard Khmer speed of 20 miles per hour. Eventually we got there and I got my boarding pass and all that Airport stuff. I bought Sandy some perfume in the duty free and had a tea, then at 3:10 we boarded and off we went. I had some hung over backpacker next to me who refused to do up her seat belt or stow her enormous bag in the overhead. The flight crew just left her alone. She and others white knuckled it when we landed. I'm not sure why. It was raining but nothing more.

Sandy met me at the Airport and we took a taxi back to the Redoubt.

Saturday, July 23, 2005: Back to Phnom

The ride out to the Airport yesterday afternoon was interesting. The taxi driver decided that I wouldn't mind going 140 Kph. He nearly smashed into the back of a pick up at one point. I was on the phone at the time but Sandy gave him a talking to in Thai and he backed off to a more reasonable 100 Kph (The speed limit is actually 80).

I did all the ticket stuff then said bye to Sandy and off I went. The flight to Phnom Penh is pretty short. We landed and I went through the immigration visa line and then got a taxi to the hotel. What a contrast that was to the ride earlier. He sped along at a mind-snapping 20 miles an hour... the whole way. But that's how it is in the Phnom. Everyone just puts along as if it just doesn't matter if they ever arrive.

I checked in, changed and headed straight over to FCC for some food. I sat up on the roof top patio, which I have never done before. It was nice up there except for some guy smoking a foul smelling cigar. I went back to the hotel at around 10:30 pm.

I watched a bit of TV before falling asleep. "Aliens" was on and I'd return to that every few passes on the remote. I loved this movie when it came out. Funny how now it seems like so much crap. Especially the bad Vietnam War cliché Space Marines. Thus I would switch away and end up at "Die Hard". I can't really place when this movie came out. I am certain I saw in the theatre with L, so that would have had to have been between '89 and 91 somewhere. It was chock-a-block full of 80's clichés too from the shoulder padded businesswoman power-suits, to that annoying bearded Yuppie guy, to the Japanese Company everyone worked for. The future looked so certain in the 80's. I noticed that the Mecca channel is no longer available in the Hotel. That was always good for a watch. The subtitles providing a constant state of disbelief. There was a Chinese movie being shown that had DO NOT BROADCAST ON TV in big letters across the bottom of the screen through the whole movie.

Today I woke up at my usual time of 6:00 am. I went back to sleep and got up at around 9:00 am. I took a motorcycle taxi over the FCC for breakfast. I ate, hung out there for a while then had the moto guy take me over to the Russian Market where I went CD hunting. In keeping with the singer from Cold Play’s anti-poverty stance I bought a pirate copy of the new Cold Play for a whole $1.50. No money went to the evil company that they work for. It all went straight to the impoverished Khmer who sold it to me. I also found a very special DVD to send to Brengun. It may be her favorite movie ever. Then went back to the FCC, and took a spot up on the roof top patio which had just opened. I just sat there and hung out for several hours watching the clouds roll by. I eventually went back to the Hotel and had a snooze.

Tonight I went to FCC at around 8:00 pm. I managed to get a seat up on the rooftop just before a big crush of people showed up. I had endure some French guy's conversation wafting over to my table like second hand smoke...

"Perhaps if I speak extremely loudly, wave my hand around and spit when I talk you will agree with what ever preposterous notion I am advocating, no?"

I swear if you took the cigarette out of the guy's hand he wouldn't be able to continue speaking. Eventually after some other Euroguy began smoking a cigar behind me (which was being blown directly to my table) I moved to a better spot. I stayed there until 10:30 pm or so, then took a bike back to the Hotel.

The motorcycle Taxi I used in the day wasn't there when I came out this evening so I was stuck with this younger guy. He waited outside for me while I was in FCC and I soon regretted not paying him and sending him off when I had arrived. The drive back to the Hotel was more frightening at 15 Kphr than I would have thought possible. He had clearly been smoking something and was wandering all over the road and took the most retarded route possible back to the Hotel. I was glad to get back alive.

Friday, July 22, 2005: Canada Still Controlled By Humourless Badger-People

Miss Universe against law

However, city employees invoked a regulation against activities which degrade men and women through sexual stereotypes or exploit their bodies to attract attention.

I showed this news article to Sandy and after she had read it she said "I don't understand".

EXACTLY.

No one outside the angry confines of the so called World Class City does. We can't promote a stereo-type even though we are one.

And why don't they ever "invoke" this law on all the strip clubs or fashion run-ways?

No wonder I live here.

Thursday, July 21, 2005: Buddhist Lent Begins

Sandy headed over to her Sister's today for tonight's big Buddhist candle lighting thing. She won't be back until 10:00 pm or so. I think all the bars are closed until Saturday too, not those bar-closures affect me at all...

It continues to be really hot. I saw some CNN report that was going on about how hot it is "even in Toronto"... What July in Toronto isn't overly hot? I can't remember any that's for sure.

My phone has a problem. The pixels on the colour screen are dying off. It started as JUST ONE DOT, and now it's a strange little wiggly etch-a-sketch line of dead pixels. This has been spreading for the last week, and I think in a few weeks the screen will be totally ruined. It's not a year old, so I should be able to get it fixed for free, but I know from experience what a pain that can be in this country. I think I may just buy a new phone and let Sandy get this one fixed. She can keep it if she wants.

I saw on CNN that "Scotty" from Star Trek died. That's a shame. I loved that show when I was a kid. Somewhere in a box in Canada I have a Scotty action figure.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005: Booking Tickets

My visa run is due this weekend. I had planned to head down to Singapore but that plan went rather pear-shaped. The 21st and 22nd is a Buddhist holiday so everyone in Thailand seems to head off to Singapore so they can still drink. I was unable to get a half-decent hotel there so...

There were other possiblities of going to the Philippines, or Hong Kong but in the end I settled on the relative slow pace of Phnom Penh. My plan is NOT to do anything other than sit at the FCC and watch the river roll by. The last few weeks have been overly busy and stressful so I want to chill. I'll be running around like Goober and the Ghost Chasers for the coming month too.

Now I wish I'd been able to go to the 'Nam with Arielle.

Sunday, July 17, 2005: Sandy Comes Back

It was quite nice out today. I wandered over to Fresh Milk for some food in the early afternoon then made a pass by Pantip after to pic up some cables, blank CDs and so forth. I wandered around in that confusion for a few hours then headed back to the Redoubt, trying to beat the possiblity of rain.

Sandy got in at around 8:30 pm. I was watching MST 3000 when she got back. After she'd sorted out her stuff and so forth we watched some X-Files Season Six. Oddly these episodes are the ones I'm most familiar with from watching them at Steve and Wendy's.

Saturday, July 16, 2005: Sandy Goes

Sandy was picked up by her Sisters at 6:00 am this morning. They are going up to the homestead for the weekend and will be back Sunday night. I had things to attend to so I was unable to join her.

I ran about most of the day, not getting any food down my neck until nearly 2:30 pm. I did the Fresh Milk meal, which by that point was needed.

It is quite nice out, but hot, so I expect some sort of rain later. I need to buy new shoes. My Major Matt Mason's are a year old and beginning to dematerialize.

Friday, July 15, 2005: Dentist

It actually cleared up quite nicely yesterday afternoon, and when I left the Redoubt early early early for Currahee it was truly nice out. I had to endure some awful B-movie on "Star Movies" while I ran. It was some kind of wrestling based romantic comedy and after about 20 minutes I realized one of the main characters was the actor who played Wesley Crusher in Star Trek TNG. What a distance to fall, from "Stand by Me" to THIS crap. Sad, very sad.

Not as sad as remembering you have a dentist appointment half an hour before you are supposed to be at it though. I went, and had my problematic tooth examined. I will have to have an x-ray to determine the next course of action. The tooth in question was chipped in grade 4 when some kid bashed my head into the back of a school bus seat. I replied in kind by cutting his head open by smashing him with my lunch box. The trip to the Vice Principal's office made us the best of friends afterwards. Any future punches in the mouth seemed all to land on this tooth as well including the angry tow truck driver who knocked my block off back in '88. Now the tooth may need some drilling or something. Brrrrrr... The only good thing in all this is how little a visit costs.

After the dentist I had some Vietnamese food which was quite good, and then I headed back towards the Redoubt. It had clouded up nicely by this point. By 3:00 pm it was thundering like the apocalypse and dumping lots of rain.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005: Big Rains

A big Biblical size storm rolled in last night and dumped lots of rain on us. The rain continued off and on all night and when I woke this morning it was alternating between heavy rain and drizzle.

The trip to Club Currahee was wet. I was pretty soaked by the time I got there, even with the rain coat. Afterwards when I left it was still raining a little but not nearly as bad as it had been on the way in.

Sandy had her classes today so she wasn't back in until 9:00 pm. I had to break the news that one of the fish died. I discovered it when I went to feed them lying on its side at the bottom of the tank like a depth charged U-boat. Sandy was upset, but there are still 5 or 6 left and there's no shortage of Gold Fish in these parts.

I picked up The Killers' CD "Hot Fuss", mostly for the song "All These Things I Have Done". MTV & V have been playing the video for it quite a bit and I think it's a great song. Unfortunately most of the CD isn't that great. The strongest songs are written by the singer. Some of the others are rather... cliché' riddled.

Oddly with all the hype on the new Coldplay CD I have yet to see one single video from it.

It's been a disappointing year for CDs. Low marks all around; Moby D-, Gorillaz D-, Queens of the Stone Age D-, and so on. The Prodigy and The Chemical Brothers are the only new releases that I feel delivered.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005: Season Six

X-Files Season Six premiered at the Redoubt tonight. I had to explain to Sandy about them moving the production from Vancouver to the States. It does seem to change the mood of it. That dark brooding rainy feel of the show certainly is gone. Now it's all out in the desert with car chases and big explosions. The budget is up. This was the point when EVERYONE was watching the show, and the network knew it.

Well it beats watching Thai soap operas, and there is really a shortage of watchable movies to rent.

Sunday, July 10, 2005: Markets

I woke up abruptly today at 10:00 am and realized Sandy and I had to meet Motoko and Terry at 11:00 am. So up and off we went. We had a bite then took them to the Weekend Market. We took a Taxi over and spent a few hours marching around the endless confusion that is the Weekend Market. Sandy wanted to buy some fish related items so we made a stop in the fish area then walked around looking at this and that.

We left the market at around 2:00 pm and took a Taxi to the World Trade. He took the longest route possible which is something that really irks me, especially when I know which way to go. We parted ways with Motoko and Terry at World Trade and they went off to do some stuff on their own. Sandy and I went and had a tea at the Banana Beach cafe then headed back the Redoubt after I'd managed to find the X-Files Season Six set.

Tonight Sandy went with Motoko and Terry to Chinatown and the Flower Market but I didn't go along.

Saturday, July 9, 2005: To The Airport

This afternoon Sandy's friend Mokoto from Japan flew in with her Boyfriend Terry so Sandy and I went out to the Airport to meet them. It was beginning to rain when we left so we grabbed the first Taxi we could, which was unfortunately driven by the stinkiest Cabbie in Thailand. Normally we won't get into a junk mobile Taxi, as they are the ones most likely to try and rip you off, but with the rain we had no choice. Off we went trapped inside with the almost unbearable odor of the driver’s stinky feet. It was truly awful. When we got to the Airport Sandy had him drop us off at the first available place and pronounced "Men Mak" as soon as we'd got out. (Men = bad smell, Mak = a large size or quantity)

We wandered around the Airport which is fully patrolled by soldiers these days, and found out which Terminal they were landing at. We had some time to kill so we had a bite in the food court and then sat at Black Canyon for a while. We met them when they came out but had to wait for a while as Motoko booked a hotel. Then we got a Taxi and drove back to their where they are staying. We dropped them off and arranged to meet up later on, then went back to the Redoubt.

Tonight we met up with Motoko and Terry and walked from their Hotel over to MK at Big C for a late dinner. Terry is an Australian so it was good to speak proper English to someone.

Friday, July 8, 2005: Mofo's

I got back to the Redoubt last night to find Sandy had Pookey and some of the Care-Bear Posse there. They left after a bit, having been there for a few hours prior to my arrival. I watched CNN and ate some amazing "southern" Thai style chicken with sticky rice.

The CNN coverage of the London attacks was pretty good. I haven't seen Richard Quest in a while, as we get the US CNN Headline News, not the CNN World Report where he now resides, having left the BCC. Watching him was odd in a way, since I associate him with Manila, where of course exploding public transit at the hands of Islamaweenies was well established by the time I got there in 2000.

We watched as much as we could watch which wasn't too much. It was all very depressing, infuriating, and heart breaking. I wondered about people I know who are now back in the UK, and that sort of thing. In the end I turned off the TV and threw on Air "Moon Safari". I needed a little something from '98, back before I had to worry about Islamic bombers and such. Back when Air didn't suck either.

It was difficult to sleep last night. I was up ultra early and BTS'd over to Club Currahee for the morning run. Riding the train was no more unnerving than usual. I did the run, which amazingly felt like it was 2 minutes not 26, and then did the "other" stuff. I had the TV on and switched to BCC in the tiny glassed off free-weight room and was eventually joined by this MASSIVE American ex-copper from Chicago. He looked like an African-American version of the Hulk, or that rock guy from Fantastic Four. For all the jabbing I have heard Brits throw at Americans over the years I wish they could have heard this fellow. It was as if the terrorists had bombed his house. His view of the British was polar opposite of his view of "the MoFo's who did this" as he so eloquently put it.

His euphemism for the terrorists made me wonder something. How is it that if these MoFo’s blow up public transit or set bombs off in Madrid, Manila, Moscow, Tunis, Bali, Baghdad, Mombassa, Jakarta, Istanbul, Belsen, Jerusalem or where ever the News guys call them "militants", "extremists", "insurgents", etc? Never "Terrorists". I think this is the FIRST time I've heard CNN or BCC call them "Terrorists" in years.

Thursday, July 7, 2005: The Bloody Seventh

Sandy has started an evening course in English. If she is to ever come to Canada it would be good if she could move beyond the Tarzan, Tonto and Frankenstein level of the language. It is very difficult NOT to speak to her in pigeon but I think the future demands it.

I was glad to hear her teacher is an American woman. It is all too obvious when a Thai is taught English by a Brit or especially an Auzzie because they pick up the accent. Also I don't need some shifty male English teacher sniffing around.

The English course and a computer course will mean I have more evenings alone. This is okay for music making, but lately I've been so knackered out from the day that making music is the last thing on my mind.

Last night was the first night of this. I ended up just lazing about and playing Command & Conquer, something I rarely do now. CNN was nearly unwatchable with the G8 and Live8 stuff. The image of Bono gives me nightmares. I really like his singing and love a lot of his music but I can't bring myself to look at him. I know he saved Africa before with the power of his 1980's super-mullet, and now he is at it again using his super-dooper dollar-store protective sunglasses... But I really would rather not see it. Or hear about it. No more than I need Brad Pitt to "make me aware" of poverty. Liked you in Snatch, Brad... But if I need to know about poverty I'll read my journal from 1982. Thanks for the tip though.

Meanwhile in the South...

Suspected Islamic militants beheaded a policeman in Thailand's restive Muslim south, officials said on Wednesday, the tenth decapitation in more than 18 months of unrest but the first such attack on police. At least two militants shot senior police sergeant Sampan Onyala, a 43-year-old Buddhist, with a pistol and an AK-47 rifle late on Tuesday in a Muslim village in Pattani, one of the three southernmost provinces plagued by the violence, police said.

Suspected? The only thing dumber than the Thai Government refusing to admit these bastards are anything more than "bandits", is the press saying they are "suspected to be" Islamic militants. Nothing in their various statements of intent or actions suggest anything other than that. They are hardcore nutters who want to set up a Calphate and either kick-out or kill anyone who doesn't agree with them. No one seems to believe them though, no matter how many people they behead.

Update: 6:00 pm.

Blasts Hit London Bus And Underground

The entire Tube network has been shut down following the blasts at Aldgate, Edgware Road, King's Cross, Old Street and Russell Square.

Blah...

Update. 7:00 pm Just watched Tony Blair on the TV at Fresh Milk. Dead silence in the place. Just like Chillis in Manila on Sept 11, 2001. Everyone here knows what this is. Everyone here fears it, and with good reason.

12:02 - Blair - "It's reasonably clear that there has been a series of terrorist attacks in London. It is my intention to leave the G8 to talk to police and emergency services personnel face to face... The G8 leaders will continue in my absence... Each of the countries around that table have some experience of terrorism... They all share our complete resolution for the defeat of terrorism. It is particularly barbaric that this has happened on the day people are meeting to try and help the problem of poverty in Africa... Just as it is reasonably clear that this is a terrorist attack... it is reasonably clear it has been timed to coincide with the opening of the G8... It is important, however, that the terrorists realise our determination to defend our values and our way of life is greater than their determination to cause the death and destruction of innocent people and impose their extremism on the world. It is our determination that they will never succeed in destroying what we have here in this country and in other civilised countries around the world."

I hope the SAS double tap every single one of the cowardly bastards who did this with bullets hollowed out and filled with pork fat.

Wednesday, July 6, 2005: Welcome To Regent Island

Well... Here we are.

Drop-d has been designated as a historical location and is now a perpetual monument to 1999 - 2000, aka "the good ol days"...

This site is basically the same as Drop-D was except it's elsewhere.

There are some changes to be made here and not everything may work right away but give the Webinator time and all will be well.

Meanwhile in the Restive South...

Thai teachers to be allowed guns

Many teachers in the south want to be armed against militant attacks
School teachers in Thailand's troubled southern provinces will be allowed to carry guns, the government has said. The move is one of a series of measures designed to keep education staff from leaving the violence-hit south.

Teachers are often targeted as they are seen as symbols of Thailand's Buddhist authorities.

and because they are filthy polythesist infidels... I'm not sure what traveling salesmen and tree sappers represent. But who's counting, eh? This area was a calphate 400 years ago or something so that's good enough reason to run around killing folk. Tossers.

Monday, July 4, 2005: Frame Up This

I was watching CNN this morning and they were showing the "Make Poverty History" marchers in Edinburgh. Right at the very front of the march on a big giant black road width banner was "911 - INSIDE JOB FRAME UP".

Okay, you can be against Bush and all that go ahead, what does it matter he's gone in three years anyways. You can be against the Iraq invasion and or how it’s being handled.

But "INSIDE JOB"?

ONLY First World socialist halfwits who have watched way too many episodes of the X-Files would put that on a banner. Especially since CNN aired two years ago Afghan shot footage of Bin Laden and company sitting around in their Hobbit hole laughing it up at how the buildings fell down AND in last years pre-US Election broadcast Bin Laden came out and explained WHY they chose those building as a target. Oh and don't forget that Sheik Yer Bootie Whoever and his pals tried to blow up those same towers in 1993 with huge truck bomb that killed 11 people.

Inside job.

Come over here. Find out what sort of religious nutbars these clowns are. They blow stuff up. They hack the heads off of Buddhist Monks and Catholic Nuns. They set bombs off on public transit, buses, in malls, in bars.

Inside job? BALI BOMBING, ASSHAT.

Every time I get on the BTS I do so in full knowledge that there is a possibility the train could go Madrid style. Then when I am back in the First World I have to listen to all sorts of stupidity coming out of the mouths of people who should know better, as well as people who'd probably still be spouting it while their infidel heads were being sawed off.

And what exactly does 9-11 have to do with Africa's poverty?

Go ask the asshats. They'll jibber their Chomsky backwash. Just don't mention Pol Pot to them.

Sunday, July 3, 2005: War of the Wimpy Looking Aliens

I went and saw War of the Worlds this yesterday with Sandy. Or more accurately I dragged Sandy along. I hadn’t planned to see it actually, but I was sickly most of the weekend so after being cooped up at the Redoubt it seemed like a good plan.

It wasn’t as bad as I’d expected.

And that’s saying some thing. There’s one thing I don’t hold in high regard and that’s directors of motion pictures. With the exception of Kubrick their job seems to be to take perfectly well written books and then mess them up while transferring them to the big screen. As a huge fan of H.G. Wells, and his original 1898 novel “The War of the Worlds” I was expecting the absolute worst. In some ways I was surprised at how dead on Spielberg got it but in one area I knew what to expect.

First off let me say that I LOVED the H.G. Wells novel. I loved it the first time I read it which was I believe in 1978 or early 79. I had already been reading Asimov and Bradbury for a few years by that point, but this I was informed by my brother Bruce was “the original” Alien invasion story. In the Well’s novel the Martians land in Victorian England and make short work of the British Army which at that time would have still been wearing red coats and firing single shot breech loading rifles. The Martians even destroy the ultimate fighting machine of the day, an “Ironclad” battleship. In the novel Well’s had foreseen mechanized fighting warfare (the Martian fighting machines), laser weapons (heat rays), and chemical warfare (the black smoke), all of which the Martians use to wipe us out. It’s important to remember when this story was written.

As for the “classic” 1950s version I have no fondness. It was always to my eyes a bad B movie with lameness all around, deep hurting and much in need of commentary from Crow, Tom Servo and Joel in the Satellite of Love. Which brings us to THIS version…

The Fighting Machines are dead on, right down to the “ooolaaaa” fog-horn. The heat ray isn’t “invisible” as it is in the book but that can be forgiven. The terror of the onslaught is right in keeping with the original even if the characters are completely different from the Well’s tale. Tim Robins’ character “Ogilvy” is a weird distillation of three characters from the book; the astronomer where his name is taken from, the crazy parson who thinks the Martians are devils and the artilleryman who wants to dig tunnels to the sea. The stuck in the basement bit of the movie is the slow point even in the original story, but over all this is a pretty true to the spirit updating. I liked it. I liked it a lot…. Except for one thing…

The Aliens. The lamest Aliens of all time. When I saw the Aliens, which I fully expected to be stupid looking in the way that all Aliens in all movies depicting Aliens have been for the last 20 years, the first thing that popped in my head was my 9 year old self saying “oh those are so gay”… Gay in the grade 4, 1975 way…. Not in the errr other way. All this money spent, all these amazing effects, and the terrifying fighting machines all that … then these stupid looking Aliens! It was as though they borrowed them from Men in Black II or something. Paaah!!! At best these were evil Muppets. At best. Why must all Aliens look the same? If these stupid looking things came creeping into my basement after I’d finished laughing at them I’d beat them to a pulp with my shoe.

Tim Robins not shaving was scarier than the Aliens!

These Aliens don’t look alien because they look more or less like every other alien you’ve seen, which is familiar, not alien. H.G. Well’s Martians on the other hand were a large bulk, larger than a bear, with writhing tentacles and a lipless mouth. His description of them makes them sound as if they were as disgusting as they were alien. Spielberg’s Aliens are just stupid looking, and familiar looking.

Rules of Alien Appearance (outside of Star Wars or Star Trek)

Aliens can’t have hair. Aliens must have big black eyes. Aliens must be small. Aliens, if scary must have a long shark-like head or be remotely Gigeresque. Aliens above all can not wear any clothing or space suits.

Sandy wasn’t impressed by any of this. She was annoyed by the shrieking kid and thought the Aliens looked rather X-Files or low budget. She’s picked up my phrase “they only had ten dollars” and applied it to the appropriately to the Aliens.

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A MOVIE WITH ALIENS WHO WERE SILLY UNIFORMS. You could even cast Michael Jackson as their leader. Now THAT would be scary.