Sunday, February 26, 2006: Farang Freak Show

Today I made my annual visit to Khaosan Road. This of course is the area frequented by all manner of Farang freakazoids with back-packs and such like. Over the years the area has taken on a much more “touristy” vibe but don’t tell that to the Lonely Planet People. Bonhomme and associates were headed over there and I hooked up with them after a failed attempt at eating in the Dubliner. I had woken up desiring a “proper” breakfast but by the time I got to the Dubliner all the Irish and Brits had filled the place and were busy chain-smoking. That repelled me back out the door and thus I ended up tagging along to Khaosan Road.

We sat out along the street at a table and had a meal while watching the freak show. I found the Pad Thai enjoyable the freak show less so. There are a variety of games one can play; spot the bitterest looking Farang woman, mullet-watch, who’s the biggest freak, and of course like children hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa we waited to see if “Mott the Hoople” would make an appearance. Sadly he didn’t. The freaks were out in force though. I rarely see so many Farang tourist types so I found the whole thing sort of disturbing. The Thai venders who were sitting near us seemed to laughing at the exact same folk we were which makes me wonder what they must think of Farang in general.

Some random thoughts.

At what point do we (white folk) lose our ability to smile? Is this something we have beaten out of us by the end of our schooling or does it happen later? Or have I just got so used to the ease at which Thai’s smile that frowning Farangs seem odd? As for the down right snarly nature of some of the female back-packers… Yikes. Even the prettiest ones to my eyes seemed diabolical due to their facial expressions; a strange combination of arrogance, certainty of their superiority, fashionable bitterness and a snooty detachment brought into focus with clenched lips and a hard face. Brrrrrrr.

They guys of course came across mostly as buffoons with attitude, since in today’s modern world it’s all about pretense, and the common defining element among all the freaks was just that; pretense. Whether they were the Jesus Love God hippy guys marching about shirtless and shoeless looking like they had stumbled off the set of Godspell, or the traveling Punk Rock Circus, Football Hooligans, or the Hobbit crew they all were travelers with attitude, swaggering their way through the crowds knowing without a doubt this would give them status of great import in what ever café, pub, or heroine den they call home. Armed only with a copy of Lonely Planet they survived the Far East for a whole month.

I only lasted until dusk. The Farang frighten and annoy me more than amuse me so I fled. Sandy had been at the weekend market all day and was watching the Korean show at 6:00 pm so I headed back towards my zone and had some Vietnamese before walking back to the Redoubt by which time the Korean show was over with.

Friday, February 24, 2006: Ant Invasion Ends

The Great Ant Invasion of '06 has come to an end. No red or black ants have been seen in over a week. I say the pepper spray worked. Sandy says it’s the poison we laid out two days after the pepper spray incident.

Thaskin has dissolved parliament or what ever the Thai equivalent is. I think he'll get reelected though, despite all the conflict of interest stuff. The yokels out in the rural areas don't know enough to care about things like stock market manipulation and he's good at buying votes.

The Philippines almost had a coup and is on lockdown. No word from Commando or others on how that is for them.

I am ill.

Thursday, February 23, 2006: Be Which?

Sandy and I watched the "Bewitched" movie. I never really saw the TV show as a kid, it was forbidden. (I'm not sure how "My Mother The Car" got under the born-again radar but "Bewitched" was strictly off limits.) I think the premise of making a movie about someone trying to remake the series instead of just another straight out "update" of an old (forgotten) series was the way to go but man this movie really didn't fly. Which is surprising with Will Ferrell, Nicole Kidman and that guy from "The 40 Year Old Virgin" as Paul Lynde (and a sad sad immitation of the man too). It had some funny Will Ferrel stuff but if this is the state of movie making, I don't know how much longer they can blame downloading and piracy for their troubles.

Remember, when making a movie.... You might need a good script. Or possibly a good idea.

Remakes of old TV shows? You would have thought that after "The Mod Squad" somebody in Hollywood would have realized old TV shows aren't the best source for a movie. Thankfully they'll run out of "old" TV shows soon. Then they can start remaking new TV shows. Or are they doing that already. I can't keep track.

They could always remake Thai TV shows. That would involve ghosts, people screaming and Hanna Barbara sound effects.

Monday, February 20, 2006: Madonna, Disco & Decades

Oh this morning Madonna was on TV jabbering on about some imagined 1970s retro induced “disco revival”. Talk about not getting the memo. I spent much of 1996 (that’s a decade ago, Marge) talking one Bean to this and that club so she could dance the night away in her 1970s retro club clothes to KC and the Sunshine Band and other golden oldies. So are we having a second 1970s retro fit then? Is such a thing possible? I thought we were having a 1980s nostalgia meltdown now. Madonna should be able to ride that particular bus all the way to the corner of walk and don’t walk. Or is she going to be doing the 80’s retro thing when we’re all happily reliving the 1990’s. She’s such a non-conformist, our crazy Aunt Marge.

Let me speak the ultimate blasphemy of my generation.

Disco doesn’t really suck.

If I had a choice to listen to some Georgio Moroder produced boooo booo synth drum disco freak out and the tiresome post-hippy swill that came oozing out of the Doobie Brothers bong pipe and across the collective shag carpets of the 1970s I’d take the disco thank you very much. I was of course too young to go to a disco when it was all the er… rave. But I do remember the first time I heard “The Hustle” on my tiny transistor radio. I remember liking it. It had a good beat and STRINGS. And thus as a boy I liked the sound. Strings, good vocal arrangements and no fear of synthesizers, how could that “suck”? So, in the 1970s while we were being forced to relive what I would imagine to be the awful Nazi-like period of the 1950s I was secretly listening to disco and imaging a futuristic place where friends could go and have “fun”. (Hey I was only 11 so cut me a little slack)

By the time I was 14, disco was at the “sucks” stage and you had to join either the Rockers or the Ginos and make your stand. Instead I listened to DEVO and managed to have both quarreling musical ideologies try to punch me out on various occasions. Neither group had much of a chance catching me as the Stoners never did up their Kodiak workboot laces (thus we called them "stumblers") and the Disco guys (or "Mr. Microphones" as we called due to their fondness for yelling at people through PA systems installed in their Cameros and Z-28s) couldn't run well in their tight-topped bell bottoms and clattery flat bottomed disco boots.

With the arrival of the the 1980s I had rather high hopes for music and things started off well enough... Then new wave became more about hair-do conformity, DX7's singularly destroyed electronic music and of course we were forced to relive the 1960s by the Boomers. It seemed a whole generation based its identity on a war it never fought and a rock concert it never went to. But we had to go. Over and over. And by the time the 1990’s came along I for one NEVER wanted to hear another rhythm and blues song again. Ever.

Which brings me back to the 1990’s… Such a great decade musically. Drew, Carean and Arielle took me to Raves and morning after parties, and The Bean took me to Retro 70s clubs which seemed to be in abundance at the time. If I was blue for some paticular reason she knew the cure. Half an hour of watching her shake shake shake and all was put into perspective.

So then… What is with Madonna going back to the 70’s ten years too late? She sort of managed to catch the whole Rave vibe (be it 8 years late) with “Ray of Light” thanks to the excellent production of William Orbit. Why now is she dodging her responsibly as the Queen of the 1980s revival? The only reason I can see is that if she starts dressing up in her frilly “Like a Virgin” era clothes she might have to admit that it really is 20 years ago now.

And who wants to admit that??

One final thought on Disco. During my brief stint DJ'ing for Rod the Man I had a Christmas party gig where all the partiers were just the right demographic to have been in their early 20’s in 1977. They had me play nothing but Disco all night and I even saw this bizarre Macarena type group dance that went along with the Boney M “Rasputin” song. It involved a lot of on the beat clapping at specific points that you wouldn’t have guessed if you hadn’t have known. It was great to watch.

Sunday, February 19, 2006: Shopping Day

This afternoon Sandy and I took the Khlong boat over to Big-C across from the shopping mall formerly known as “World Trade”, that everyone still calls the World Trade, two years after the name change. I haven’t been on the boat in a while. The Khlong was extra stinky today for some reason. They’ve upgraded the boat terminal near World Trade so we could walk more directly to Big-C.

First we had a meal at MK which was good. Then we did our big shopping. When ever I am in Big-C I have weird flash backs of shopping either in Ottawa or Oakville. I’m not sure why that is. Today’s bill was 2000 baht, which Sandy cringes at, but makes me smile. Fifty bucks for groceries.

By the way, I guess the idea of a dodgy Air Marshall isn't as far off the mark as I might have thought...

HOUSTON, Feb. 17 — Testimony on Thursday at the arraignment of two federal air marshals charged with using their credentials to engage in a cocaine smuggling conspiracy suggested that the case might involve other marshals as well.

The government maintains that Mr. Nguyen recruited Mr. Sholar, who was also based in Houston, to help carry the cocaine and that the two men agreed with the informant to bypass security at Bush Intercontinental Airport here and smuggle the drugs on board a plane in exchange for $4,500 a kilogram, about 2.2 pounds.

Saturday, February 18, 2006: Flight Plan

Sandy and I walked “Flight Plan” on DVD last night. Her analysis summed it up. “She’s (Jodie Foster) a good actress but the story was sort of so-so”. I was relived to see Sean Bean NOT playing a bad guy for the first time since Sharpe’s Rifles. It wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. I remember when it came out the Flight Attendants of America or whatever where in a snit over it for some reason. I don’t think it portrayed them as badly as they put on. I sort of wonder about the dodgy Air Marshall bit, it would have made more sense to me if he’d been faking the Air Marshall bit but… It wasn’t a great movie. After a week of “Monk” I kept waiting for Adrian Monk to show up on the flight and solve the mystery and hopefully inject some humor into the story.

We also managed to finish off “The Lone Gunman” volume one discs. That wasn’t hard as it was only four episodes. I think the show had huge potential but came far too late to really take off. It was just too deeply routed in 90’isms to fly. The fast computer typing (right, as if typing quickly would make a computer GO FASTER in 2001 or in 2006 or in 2049), the Matrix/Tomb Raider/Hacker chick (who was really substandard. If they’d had that Six of Nine Borg woman or some such type the show would still be on the air), conspiracy theories (zzzzzzzzzzzzz), and of course the notion that computers equal wealth or hip ness were all clichés past their expiry date in 2001. Thus the show didn’t fly. Which again is too bad as the best thing about the show for me was the Jimmy Bond character. He was the best character Chris Carter had come up with since Fox and Scully.

Oh, it’s almost 6:00 pm. Time to be subjected to the Korean Cooking Concubine show.

Friday, February 17, 2006: Fixing The Sidewalks

One of the running laughs we've had here has been at how the new Subway Stations have wheel chair access ramps up to them from the sidewalk. A sidewalk that is BARELY accessible to those who aren't in wheel chairs. Or side walks that might result in one needing a wheel chair. Well marvel of marvels they are actually attempting to fix or improve the sidewalks.

How?

By making them wheel chair accessible. Which of course makes absolutely no sense at all as in my five years here I have never once seen anyone in a wheel chair.

Currently they've torn up all the curbs that intersect with streets. Previously there was a simply a two foot drop from the side walk to the street, then a two foot step back up once across. Now they've sloped it to a wheel chair accessible grade and even included those bumpy blind man curb warnings that look like the top of a Lego block.

This of course sounds all very nice. There are several problems however. Where ever there is a walk over the space between the walk over as it comes down the sidewalk and the store fronts or what have you is barely enough room for one person to walk and certainly not enough room for a wheel chair. The other problem will certainly be motorcyclists riding on the sidewalk. That is actually already a problem but this makes ALL the sidewalks accessible for them. In order to combat that in some areas near the Redoubt they've put metal poles to block the motorcycles from riding along the sidewalk. So much for wheel chairs fitting through.

The most obvious problem I foresee however is regarding rainy season. In some strips and around certain intersections instead of making a ramp up they've removed the sidewalk altogether and created sort of a slot to walk though. A slot that I can guarantee between June and October will be two feet deep in rain water.

Thursday, February 16, 2006: Sunshine Day

Ahhhh. That is more like it.

SUN.

A big blue sky with a big happy warm sun. No rain. Just a nice breeze and the summeriest sunshine you could pull out of some freak warm day in late May when you're skipping off the last two classes and have positioned yourself behind the portables so no one can see you.

That is sort of what today was like. Only better. Better because I had my iPod and I could listen to my Summer Sun playlist which contains all songs appropriate for such an excellent sunny day.

I actually found on VCD volume one of the first (and only) season of... "The Lone Gunman". Of course they are the hacker/nerds from X-Files who would help Fox & Scully with conspiracy related things. I saw a few episodes that Brengun taped when I was in Canada back in 2002 so I'm looking forward to seeing these. Sandy and I are almost through the second season of "Monk" which we've enjoyed a lot.

As an aside, I don't recall if I mentioned Sandy's remark that DEVO or the members there of reminded her of "The Lone Gunman". Which makes sense as I'm sure that in all things nerd, DEVO hold some sacred key.

Are we not men?

Monday, February 13, 2006: Rains

Blah. Rain. Rainy season rain. This is not supposed to be rainy season. Where is the sun? Well... At least it is not snowing.

Here's a fun thing to do to torment you partner/wife/girlfriend/cowboy...

When they ask you to remind them to do something at a certain time you remind them two seconds after they've told you. After doing this for three years they may try to cover your mouth with their hand as you begin to remind them of what ever it is. When they do that it is fun to slobber on the palm of their hand. Especially if it is raining during sunny season.

Sunday, February 12, 2006: Big Rain & Renders

Sandy bought some shirts for her sister Pooh, so Pooh came by this afternoon to collect them and visit. We had some chai yen and sat about. Sandy and Pooh watched the replays of last nights big anti-Thaskin protests that had a really impressive turn out of over 50,000 people. Amazing considering what he's been up to pales in comparison to what Paul Martin's crew were up to.

Sandy picked up some DVD's of the TV series "Monk" which I'd never seen until this week. We've been watching those lately with the "English - for the hearing impaired" subtitles rather than Thai as Sandy thinks this will help her understanding of the language. (It makes me feel like I'm watching with Jen though.)

The big heat over the last few days resulted in an unusual thunderstorm at around 3:00 pm. It was a big rainy season downpour that turned to a drizzel for the rest of the day. Pooh left at around 5:00 pm and Sandy and I had dinner. The Korean Soap Opera about cooking is shown on Sunday as well as Saturday so Sandy watched that.

I had spent much of the day rendering down video from Christmas 2004 into DVD'able format. Rendering the video after editing it takes forever on old Lappy, but thankfully I am almost through most of the Christmas 2004 footage.

Saturday, February 11, 2006: Big Feed

This afternoon Sandy and I went over to her sister’s house for a big family get together. Her cousin Puwee’s Aussie boyfriend Jim was leaving for Alaska tomorrow and Sandy’s sister’s husband Mike had some family over from the UK. We took a taxi over and had expected traffic to be brutal due to a planned protest against the Thaskin government, or more specifically Thaskin himself. There were cops a plenty and seemed to be screening traffic however since everyone was avoiding the zone there was actually no traffic to speak of. We got over across the river faster than we ever have I think.

We had made a stop to pick up some food to bring along and once we arrived Sandy disappeared with the food and I sat out in the garden with Jim. It was a beautiful day out today although it was hot. The other sisters arrived although Pooh and Julian were absent. I met Mike’s daughter and her partner Dave and their four year old boy Charlie. Two Dave’s made things sort of confusing. Mike’s sister was also there who I met before about 3 years ago.

There was a big spread of appetizers followed by a bigger spread of food including an MK style sukiyaki cook out. I was actually full by the time the appetizers were done with. Sandy’s cousin Poom was also there having recently moved back from Seattle with her partner Julian. They have this amazing Husky dog. Sandy knows my lack of enthusiasm for dogs and was surprised by my enthusiasm for this dog. But I just prefer big furry dogs over little yappy rat like creatures.

It was a good visit and unusual in that there were so many people to talk English to. People started to disperse at around 8:30 pm and Sandy and I took a taxi back at around 9:00 pm. Sandy was all disappointed when she realized that she’d missed the Korean cooking soap opera which she could have watched in Pet’s room. I’m sure we’ll have it on DVD soon enough though.

Thursday, February 9, 2006: Terrorists & Pop Stars Part 2

Thai attacks intensify in south

Since the latest wave of violence began in the Muslim-majority south two years ago, separatist rebels have attacked Buddhist teachers at local schools.

Buddhist Teacher wounded by Terrorists

Meanwhile at the Grammy Awards, "more stubborn than a Terrorist" Pop Icon Madonna was busy lip-syncing in a very ugly outfit.

Nice outfit Madge

Wednesday, February 8, 2006: Madonna STFU

The Hag Speaks

NEW YORK (AP) - Madonna says she's more stubborn than a terrorist - at least when it comes to her music career.

"What's the difference between a pop star and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist," jokes Madonna, poking fun at her diva reputation in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar, which hits newsstands Feb. 21. Madonna, 47, also reveals that she and her husband of five years, 37-year-old filmmaker Guy Ritchie, often don't agree on vacation destinations.

Why won't SOMEONE please tell this uninteresting wizzened old bitty to PLEASE SHUT UP.

"You can negotiate with a terrorist," jokes Madonna

Yes she's almost as good a comic as she is a musician. Real knee slapper. As we all know you can negotiate with THESE IDIOTS.

Restaurant bombing injures 20 in southern Thailand

Twenty people have been wounded in a bomb explosion in a restaurant in Thailand's southern Yala province as violence continued unabated in the deep South, local press reported Sunday.

In January, Thai government extended a state of emergency in three southernmost provinces for another three months to cope with the lasting violence which has claimed lives of more than 1,000 people.

One thing Madonna and terrorists have in common is I would be happy to live in a world without either.

Tuesday, February 7, 2006: Wisehammer Day

It occurred to me today while I was eating lunch that today was “Wisehammer” day. It was 20 years ago that Mark Lesiak and I sat in his room and came up with the idea of Wisehammer and began our search for other musicians who would share our enthusiasm for the then forbidden “progressive rock” style. Eventually Chris joined us and the rest isn’t history. But it was a lot of fun and I look back on it fondly.

Time flies…

Here is a photo of those heady days.
From left to right, Mark on drums, Chris on guitar and backing vocals and me on vocals and Chapman Stick.

Monday, February 6, 2006: Pepper Spray

Here is a prudent bit of advice for those of you at home. Don’t discharge pepper spray in your bedroom. Especially if you want to be in your bedroom over the following hour.

The post-rainy season ant invasion has reached its zenith. The black ants have tried to lay claim to the bathroom, while the little red biting bastards have claimed the hot water machine and started running an ant-Ho Chi Min trail along the wall beside our bed. We had no bug-bomb left and as I was bit several times I decided that I’d pepper spray them instead. We had to vacate the area.

Sandy would have been more angry with me except she thought it was such a stupid thing to do she couldn’t stop laughing (or coughing).

In my defense… The ants also seem to have vacated the room.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006: Reason to Pod

Yes, yet another reason to own a new video iPod... iPod ready Strong Bad emails!

You want to go "back to land"? Count me out McDuff. I'm far too easily amused by all this materialism and gadgetry.

In case you are some how unfamiliar with Strong Bad...