Thursday, April 27, 2006: Emporium

Sandy and I went over to the Emporium tonight to see what movies were playing. We haven’t seen a movie in the theatre for a while so it seemed like a plan. Unfortunately our choice was limited to some cartoons and Basic Instinct 2. I never saw the first one and this one looks like it would be even worse.

So we wandered up to the book store and I got the latest copy of Keyboard Player Magazine to arrive. The issues are usually a month behind. Increasingly I prefer the UK edition of Future Music over Keyboard. It is thicker, more up to date in the electronic zone and comes with a DVD. I will still continue to buy Keyboard out of loyalty as I’ve been reading it since 1978 but they need to catch up. Future Music tends to review gear two issues before they get around to it.

After the bookstore we hit the CD shop and bought some used movies. Used DVDs are anywhere from 189 Baht to 500 Baht and used VCDs can be as cheap as 70 Baht. Those kinds of prices compete well with the pirates. One thing the Movie companies should used to promote not buying pirates instead of the guilt that it’s stealing is the fact that the quality of pirate DVDs is diabolical. Bad sound, completely screwed up subtitles and other quality issues like the movie NOT PLAYING 10 minutes before the end. A great example of this was the pirate of “Crash” (the one about L.A. not that crappy Canadian movie) that we got from Dexa cacking out fifteen minutes before the end. This was after it cutting into black and white or skipping and the subtitles making no sense in any language. Sandy found it on DVD for 189 Baht and we watched it a few days ago. What a difference.

We also had a Chinese Pirate of a season of Monk that was all screwed up and unwatchable. The worst part was the subtitles. If Sandy finds the Thai subtitles too screwy she’ll request English or hearing impaired subtitles. But the English subtitles on this were clearly done by someone who didn’t speak English. It was so bad I wanted to read them to laugh. I should have posted them… alas…

We had dinner at The Grey Hound Café. I went for the Elvis Burger which is possibly the best Burger in Bangkok. Unfortunately though it may be Elvis in taste its only Paul Williams in size. I find the Grey Hound Café sort of amusing. It’s done up like a proper North American eatery and is packed full of “high so” Thais (Rich or High Society) but the staff lack that certain something you get in a good bistro in North America. The guy we had was like he had just fallen off the back of the watermelon truck. He tried but it was interesting for lack of a better word.

Sunday, April 23, 2006: Pet's Birthday

I woke up last night at about 4:00 am with fever/chills and the frightening realization that I had to make a special call on the white porcelain telephone. There’s always that minute of debate before I move though. I’m not sure what brought this on, whether it was food poisoning or a bug but the effects were worthy of Linda Blair. I honked away with the most ferocity I’ve had since I was a kid and woke Sandy up in the process. She came in to check on me but I waved her off. It was a conversation I didn’t really want her to witness. After I was finished I showered then eventually went back to bed.

This morning I woke up and had a sore throat from last night’s barf-o-rama. I didn’t feel sickly though so I am leaning towards it being food related. I had toast and tea then Sandy and I waited for Pooh to come by at noon. The three of us went out to Pet’s house since today was his 10th birthday. We went to MK for a big meal but Pet looked rough as he has been ill and tomorrow he will be going back to the Doctors for Malaria tests. Apparently the big M has been making a comeback recently. That’s a far cry from 2001 when I was repeatedly told I couldn’t have it even though I had it because there wasn’t any Malaria in Thailand.

Once we were back at the house we hung out and were endlessly amused by Pluk. The Thais seem to have no concept of the notion of “the terrible twos” and respond to the willfulness of toddlers in an entirely different way than I’ve seen Farang respond. Pluk discovered that if he turned a lever connected to a hose beside the garage that water would come out. So there was this battle of the wills were the he’d turn on the water, and begin watering the cement and himself until someone would turn it off after which he’d turn it back on. No one got angry or really tried to stop him though. They all thought it was really funny or cute. Eventually when he’d soaked himself enough they got a big plastic tub and put him and his hose in it. I know if this had been North America with in five minutes it would have turned into a big freak out and somebody would have lost it and the wailing would have begun. There was none of that.

At around 7:30 pm Pet had his cake. They sing the “Happy Birthday” song here although no one seems to understand the part were you put the person’s name in it. I baffled them by singing the “You belong in a zoo” lyrics. Pluk was his willful and inquisitive self throughout. When we were eating the cake I asked about the notion of two year olds being a problem and the Mom’s in the room all dismissed it as nonsense. Pet’s Mom’s response was “They are always just cute”.

Sandy, Pooh and I split at around 8:00 pm at took a taxi back to the Redoubt zone. Now I will attempt to eat some chicken.

Saturday, April 22, 2006: New Fish

Sandy went to the weekend market today. I didn’t. It is simply too hot right now for the weekend market with its cramped quarters, tin roofing and sweaty European tourists. I’d rather pay double at the Siam Discovery in order not to go. But that’s were the fish are and since we were down to one survivor Sandy went off at around noon.

I stuck around and programmed patches for the GR-30. I have done about ten so far. They consist of several “Belew” Indian reed type instruments, a piano patch, a Fender Rhodes piano patch, a Sitar patch and today’s project which was a combination of various Mellotron type patches; flute, flute and choir, flute and strings, strings and choir and just strings.

The lay out of the programming procedure is making more sense to me now. I wish I could tweak the tone bank sounds more, like I can in the sound canvas part of the Roland MC-303 Groove Box. The two machines are contemporaries so I’m not sure why the GR-30 doesn’t have that built into it. The joy of the GR-300 was I could tweak the cutoff frequency and the resonance while I played. The GR-30 has lots of advantages over the old system but that isn’t one of them.

I bought a GK-3 pickup only to discover later that the bigger foot print and the shorter wire length between the hex pick up and the Borg part made it impossible to mount on the Traveler. So I have a GK-3 pick up and no guitar to mount it on. I could mount it on the RJ guitar but it has developed some major intonation problems and I never use it now. I’m not sure it GKing it would be worth the trouble.

Sandy got a bunch of fish. The one big old one seems more active now that he has company. Usually a few die with in a day or two of being put in the tank so she got enough that we should be back to five or six in a week or two.

Friday, April 14, 2006: Sound of Deep Hurting

Last night Sandy and I watched “Sound of Thunder” which is a sci-fi movie based on the 1952 Ray Bradbury short story of the same name. It was pretty bad. No. It was REALLY BAD. Bad enough that if some one ever DOES invent a time machine one of the first things they do should be go back and prevent Ray Bradbury from writing the short story so that this movie is never made. One way to stop him would be to actually show him the movie.

The star of the show is that guy who I always think of as a) The BAR gunner from Saving Private Ryan or b) The Surly Ben Affleck. I can’t be bothered to look up his name. Ben Kingsley is also in it as the character that Malcolm McDowell should have played and I wonder if he has fallen on hard times or has really big credit card debts. Everyone else look like they escaped off the Disney channel. As do the special effects which are only marginally better than say “Casper the Friendly Ghost”.

About a quarter of the way in to this crapfest Sandy looked at me and said “This looks… STUPID”. I know she meant “fake”. The stupidity continued all served up with incredibly bad CGI. As I may have mentioned I generally rate any CGI with the acceptation of Shrek type “cartoons” slightly above riding in an Airbus 330. (Imagine having to watch this ON an Airbus 330… ggaaaah) The dialog matches the effects perfectly in they are both totally unbelievable. Even though King Kong’s CGI wasn’t perfect at least it was entertaining and seemed “vast”. This was crushing and confined in the way a TV show’s effects would be.

DON’T RENT THIS MOVIE. Not unless you intend on watching it with Joel, Crow and Tom Servo or perhaps Marshal, Will and Holly.

Thursday, April 13, 2006: Soi Songkran

This afternoon I joined Bonhomme and Associates for Song Kran on the Soi Cowboy strip. I came armed with only a pair of 700 Baht Speedo swimming goggles and had to buy a water gun there. I bought two, one of which didn’t work well and the other of which didn’t work at all. I exchanged my non-functioning one for a lesser but functional model then went back to where Bonhomme and Associates were staked out; in front of a TOP’s friend’s bar.

Bonhomme had the ice truck park near by so we had a continuous supply of freezing ice water to spray people with. There was a great deal of white paste smeared but this year the water throwing seemed to exceed it so most of the paste I had on me was washed off by the end of the day. The street was full of revelers both Thai and Farang. The enthusiasm of the Thais for this holiday is something to see. There was Thai music blaring and at one point the ice truck which we had mostly emptied had half a dozen Go Go Dancers gyrating on the back of it.

Some Farang tourists (opposed to outcasts and expats) came wandering into the fray unaware of what was going on. They were set upon and quickly soaked but fortunately they were of the good natured sort and soon bought water guns for themselves and joined in on the action.

I stayed up until dark then left. I was soaked and my skin had that too long in the bathtub thing going on. Bonhomme and Associates went to Khao San but I opted out. I took the BTS back to the Redoubt and got re-soaked by the kids on Redoubt Road.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006: Sandy Fever

Sandy is sick again. She came home last night at about 9:00 pm with a fever after having just gone one with Pooh and Dexa. She was ill all night and I’m not sure if this is a flu relapse or food related. This morning she was really bad, shaking with chill until her fever broke and she fell back to sleep.

I was supposed to go out with Bonhomme & Associates for Song Kran today but since I didn’t actually sleep last night because of Sandy’s sickness I opted to join them tomorrow during the day.

Sunday, April 9, 2006: Back From Singapore

Last night I watched “Castaway” on a Malaysian TV channel. Of course as Malaysia in becoming increasingly more religiously controlled the censors “Castaway” about a quarter of the movie. It was both bizarre and jarring to watch as the choices of what would be shown and what wouldn’t be made no sense at all. Unless of course you believe that Allah says showing kissing on TV is forbidden and that Tom Hawks can only talk to Wilson when it appears he’s talking to himself not when he’s directly talking to the volleyball. The whole scene where Wilson is created was cut out. Eating fish was okay but not those crabs. Allah doesn’t like them either, so no one is allowed to even witness the consumption of them.

The TV commercials were equally weird with K-Tel Records Presents type songs of Allah Akbar and some ad that seemed to promote women wearing headscarves although it also seemed to be a bank advertisement. I don’t speak Malay so that one was confusing. Fortunately afterwards the Hotel Channel showed Almost Famous and that was relatively uncensored.

There was a huge thunderstorm this morning at about 5:00 am that woke me up. I managed to go back to sleep and when I got up the rain had stopped. I didn’t go for breakfast, just got ready packed and checked out. I toke a taxi to the airport and checked in then went through customs and on towards the gate. I had about an hour so that allowed me to sit and have a tea and a sandwich before going through security and boarding.

The flight back was okay. It was clear up until we reached landfall near the north tip of the Bay of Thailand. It was raining when we landed. I managed to get through customs quicker than usual then I went out to where Sandy was waiting. We took a taxi back to the redoubt. The expressway was backed up due to an accident so getting home took a while. The rain had stopped by the time we got to our area. Redoubt road was totally flooded and we had already hopped out of the taxi in order to cross the street so we had to get a Tuk Tuk to drive us past the flood zone to the front of the building.

It is good to be home.

Saturday, April 8, 2006: Singapore Briefly

This morning I went looking for The Dubliner Singapore. I should have just got in a taxi and let him find it but instead I chose to walk. I chose to walk around for an hour and a half in the heat taking a wrong turn and ending up not anywhere I wanted to be.

Eventually I gave up and walked back to Orchard Road and settled for a tea and sandwich at a café in the mall that also houses the three floors of HMV. I spent a while in HMV after I had eaten. By noon it was brutally hot and muggy and threatening rain. I went back to Hotel Depressio before it started.

I went out to Rouge Outdoors later tonight. Eating there is always a highlight of visiting Singapore. I made one last trip up to HMV afterwards then called it a day. I go back tomorrow and to be honest I’ll be glad to be home. I didn’t enjoy this trip as much, possibly from the lack of Sandy or the crappy hotel. My flight is at noon tomorrow so I will check out early.

Friday, April 7, 2006: To Singapore Eventually

Today I did something I have never done before in my life. I missed a flight. The worst part was that it was my own fault that I missed it. In any event this forced me to cancel that ticket and buy another ticket from a different airline. Sandy waited around the airport with me patiently until it was time for me to catch the later flight.

Have I mentioned the fact that I strongly dislike flying on any Airbus product? I’m sure the progressive minded prefer them on principal, especially since the Airbus outfit isn’t part of the military industrial complex. But for me, if I am flying, I like the idea that the aircraft I am in has some kind of linage that comes from the B-17 Flying Fortress. Airbus planes may look great on the aviation trade show floor and perhaps are suited for the ten minute flights from one European city to another but as a frequent flier I know that they rattle shake and shimmy like Apollo 13 when ever they are flying above large bodies of water and the weather systems contained there in. This flight was no exception. We were bouncing around like… like we were in an Airbus. Because we were in an Airbus… And it’s not the bouncing that is the big problem for me. Boeings aren’t immune to turbulence. But what Boeings don’t do that Airbus can’t help but do is shake, rattle and shimmy like Apollo 13. I don’t trust Airbus’ to start with because their “quiet” engines sound like fax machines and but the rattling just makes me cringe. The overhead luggage bins (which are too small) shake like crazy during turbulence and I can help but think that anything plastic that shakes that much has to eventually fall apart. Then there are the “sounds” that occur during landing. As the plane comes down from the freezing cold upper altitudes to the steamy tropical Singapore temperatures the sound of something expanding starts. Every time I hear this it makes me imagine William Shatner has shooed the Twilight Zone gremlin off the wing and is now chasing it up and down the roof of the Airbus. I was glad when we finally touched down.

We got into Singapore at around 8:00 pm, which is about six hours later than I should have arrived. It is just as well I suppose because if I hadn’t missed the first flight I never would have had the opportunity to stand behind Mr. Stinky Pants while we were waiting to get off the airplane. I swear this guy smelled like he’d never washed his bum in his whole life. It was overpowering and I stopped about 3 feet away and refused to move forward even though people behind me were in a big rush and kept pushing me. I managed to avoid him once we were off the plane but I felt like I still had the poopy-bum smell in my nose for a while after.

After I went through customs (how polite they are) I went out and got a cab. Of course I had to get the stinkiest taxi driver in Singapore. We motored along into bad traffic and I had to sit there while he stank, the ghost of poopy bum haunted me and this annoying little bell thing on his meter would ring for 8 seconds every three seconds. He had some kind on none functioning air-freshener on his dashboard that was a clear plastic globe with a golf ball style top on it. The contents clearly were past their due date and because of their yellowish hue looked like a urine sample. All this while we moved at a snail’s pace.

Eventually I arrived at Hotel Depressio. Or should I say I arrived half a block away from it as the driver refused to pull up any closer because of “traffic”. I was just happy to get out of the taxi though so I lugged all my stuff to the Hotel. I had stayed here back in 2004 but I’d forgotten that it sucked. I was put in a deluxe suite. I think it is deluxe either because they’ve crammed twice as much stuff into it as a regular room or it’s twice as depressing as any room you might have ever stayed in. The place Sandy and I stayed in back in October of 2005 was 100 times better and I kick myself for not spending the 40 bucks more to stay there.

Anyways after I unloaded my stuff in the room went to Rouge Outdoors for some much needed food. The airplane meal was a choice between something with coconut and something that tasted awful so I was starved. After a proper meal at Rouge Outdoors I walked up to HMV and was pleased to see it was still open at 10:00 pm. I picked up a few impossible to find in Bangkok things then came back to Hotel Depressio.

I have figured out another reason I hate this place. It reminds me of the Ambassador Hotel room I stayed in back during the worst Christmas of all time; Christmas 2002. It has that same dull gloom hanging over it and the view is out onto a better hotel where I should be staying.

Thursday, April 6, 2006: Caliboredomation

I saw some new Red Hot Chilli Pepper video. Imagine them writing a song with the word "California" in it. A novel idea for them would perhaps be to NOT write a song mentioning California. I'm not sure how they took over The Beach Boys' California Promotional Slot but it is sad to see them become a lame parody of themselves. I suppose they have bills to pay but I haven't been inspired to buy their work since about '96.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006: Thaskin Quits

Thai Prime Minister Thaskin has announced he will step down… sometime… soon….

I don’t think there is an Expat in the country that won’t applaud that news. We have hated the guy for about 5 years longer than the Thais have.

Thaskin had an audience with The King this afternoon although I’m not sure if Thaskin went to see The King to tell him he was stepping down or if he went to see The King so The King could tell Thaskin that he was stepping down. Either way, good riddance to bad rubbish as somebody used to say.

Thai PM Thaksin says to step down, unclear when

Opponents demanding he resign over allegations of corruption and abuse of power said earlier they would stop street protests and take part in a new election if he quit immediately.

Sunday, April 2, 2006: Election Sunday

The Thai “Election” was today. Sandy didn’t vote as it would involve going to her home city to participate. Sort of like Mary and Joseph having to go back to Bethlehem to be counted I guess. One of the reasons the opposition has boycotted the election was because they contest the short notice of it. They are urging voters to mark the “I don’t wish to vote” box on the ballet instead. If Thaskin doesn’t receive enough of a percentage he will be forced to admit defeat. Or that’s the theory.

Instead of voting Sandy and I met Dexa and her American boyfriend Mike at MK for lunch. They wanted to go to some market thing afterwards but I opted out and went to Paragon instead to search the Jazz CD shop and get a coffee. It was beautiful out again today and I walked back to the Redoubt at sunset. Sandy got back a little later and is now watching the Election on TV.

Saturday, April 1, 2006: King Kong

Today Sandy and I watched “King Kong”. I bought it on VCD as it was only 159 Baht and it our collection of movies to watch eventually has been depleted. I really had no enthusiasm for the movie when it was in theatres; even after hearing Corin Raymond’s heart felt passion for it over a GFM meal. I saw the original once on a projector at some Church youth thing (bizarre choice come to think of it now) and I believe I may have seen bits of the crapulatacular 1979 version on City TV once. Anyways my view has been “ahhh, monkeys… bah”…

I must say… Although the movie requires a tremendous amount of suspension of disbelief it was a highly entertaining movie. In fact I really enjoyed it. The effects are good, although I feel CGI has a long way to go before it doesn’t look like CGI. Still the effects were better than say Doctor Who or Jurassic Park. I dare you to watch that now and not be amazed at how bad the computer animated Dinosaurs look. I also enjoyed seeing Jack Black portray someone other than himself. He did a great job as the dodgy film maker.

I hope in the next remake of King Kong they have the giant ape throw pooh at the attacking airplanes. Just an idea.

After Sandy and I were finished watching Kong we went for some Esan food.